For a few moments of “reality check”(which is often my alternative word for “confession”), I pulled out my handy notebook and without thinking much about it, wrote the words, “I am…” then there was a long pause….I mention the pause because, probably like you, I rarely start these little practices feeling all spiritual. No, usually I feel quite “out of it”, spiritually speaking. Quite often I start my therapy sessions with the Creator with phrases like…”uh, how do I say this nicely….I….uh….don’t think it’s going to happen today….I’m not quite all here….uh….feeling pretty unspiritual at the moment, if you know what I mean….but maybe you don’t….so…..we’ll see….
So I started with: I am…..here. Then another I am…..another long pause, but maybe not so long…..trying. Yes, I am trying. Another I am…tired. Yes, that’s true as well, but maybe some coffee would help. I am…..blessed. I am…loved. I am cared for. Yes those are true as well, and for that I’m very thankful. I am…not perfect, I am…flawed. Yes, now we are getting into the real reality check. But despite that, I am….useful…..helpful….kind. etc, etc. etc.
It never ceases to amaze me how these simple, even trite, little ideas can be so quickly transformative. Within a matter of minutes they take me from “I don’t think this is going to happen today” to significant moments of reflection and that illusive spark of connectivity between my inner spirit and the spirit my Creator. And for that I am….thankful.